Twitter Jesus is looking out for me.

“What about a giant, glowy ghost dildo? Do you need a giant, glowy ghost dildo?”

Make America Masturbate Again

Sometimes you’re in a bad emotional place.

But then your friend who works at the adult boutique texts you to report that a man wearing a Trump t-shirt bought a giant, veiny dildo, and suddenly everything else seems pretty insignificant by comparison.

P.S. If you wondered, the toy IS made in America. Because America’s ALREADY fucking great. (Literally, apparently.)

Sinister Dildos World Tour

OMG, the caption on Huff Post UK’s Facebook post was “More sinister dildo news…”

“What’s up, Oregon! We’re Sinister Dildos and we’re here to rock!” BWAH HA HA. #GoodBandName

In my head, a sinister dildo would have Jafar’s face from Aladdin. I don’t know why, that’s just my vision. Shut up. 

Full story here.