Eleanor Shellstrop is my new life coach.

Via Ms. Andry’s Bath House on Facebook, my new #goals for the evening

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You’re not the boss of me! Oh…wait…

It’s funny when my brain tries being an asshole like it doesn’t know I have access to pills, bourbon, cheese, chocolate, and pictures of baby animals.

Not today, fuckface.

The power of Chardonnay compels you!

We all know I have weird anxiety about answering online dating messages, so…I’m-a just start drinking this bottle of wine, plop my laptop in front of me, and see if I l get inspired.

What could possibly go wrong?