Harry Potter and the Order of Dick Wizards

During a text conversation evaluating the things we like best about being naked together, New Person told me I’m “a wizard with [my] tongue.”

So…yeah. Sending in my Hogwarts application today.

Also: “Weeeeee are the champions, my friiieeeennnnnds…”

P.S. Don’t care if he’s exaggerating to feed my ego. I am a Dick Wizard.

I’m basically Kanye right now.

In the past week I’ve been told I have a “nice writing style” and also a “good voice,” the former for professional writing and the latter for this blog.

Pfft. Even the Stray Cats don’t strut like me today.

The peacocks at the zoo WISH they could step to my preening.

#FilthyComplimentWhore