In the Wild: The Rare and Elusive Emotionally Damaged Single Woman

I hadn’t gotten any OkCupid messages in, like, 4 days, but now I’m all “woe is me” and suddenly I get THREE in the past hour?

Holy shit… Men, can y’all innately sense my broken self-worth online, too?! Wow, OkCupid, good work on that algorithm! I thought that sixth sense was reserved for when I’m at the grocery store, all gross, unshowered, no makeup, in sweats, and get the idiot wolf whistles I don’t get when I’m dressed normally.

But obviously the messages were the digital equivalents of a wolf whistle:
1. “Hi Smug [Spock finger emoji] lol”
2. “You’re so cute”
3. “So what does your weekend look like ?? –John”

*sigh* Check it out, you guys — it’s Drink O’Clock.

INXS “Kick” you right in the feels

Speaking of working past perfectly good elements of pop culture weighed down by the emotion I associate with them…

Last night I found myself caught off-guard when I saw this new Apple ad during Scandal, featuring an older song I’d been avoiding pretty successfully.

A million years ago, I teased a man in the most delicious way for the duration of this song after he told me it made him think of me.

“You gonna go your whole life scared of that song? It’s just a song. Don’t make it a monster.”*

I’m playing it in full now, because suck it, fuckface — it was my song first.

*Quote from Silver Linings Playbook