The Smug Hunter’s Field Guide

See, the deal with my particular self-hatred is, I have BEEN clingy (more on this later), and I talk too much, and these are things I’ve hated about myself. So as my potential suitor, YOU can’t be clingy and talk too much, because I will hate it even more in you.

I am attracted to guys who are…not unavailable, per se (though I’ve clearly been there). But definitely less emotive than I am.

I’m like a skittish baby deer, and if I feel like you’re coming on too strong, I’m taking my fluffy ass back into the wild. None of my meat for you.

…OK, wait, I lost control of the deer metaphor.

Don’t be clingy, is my point. Once you’ve pushed me to thinking “OMG, PLEASE STOP TALKING,” we’re probably done.