Say what you will about my broken self-image, but at least I have the decency to blame MYSELF for the fact that I can’t get laid.
Via the Miami Herald: “Florida yoga shooter was a misogynist who wanted ‘crucifixion’ for ‘American whores.’”
I’m avoiding my personal Facebook after seeing PEOPLE I KNOW say Charlie Sheen “had it coming.”
Don’t fucking make me defend Charlie Sheen. Christ.
(I’d already been avoiding FB for a few days, but I do check it here and there to remind myself that everyone and everything there is still awful. Facebook is where Suck goes to blow.)
Quick acknowledgment: I am not a complete asshole. I’m aware of the fucked-up shit happening in the world right now. I am not trying to be insensitive. Quite the opposite, actually — I am so OVER-sensitive that if I tune into the news too much, I will end up on my living room floor in a ball, weeping for humanity.
It happened after 9/11. It happened after Newtown. It happened after the Boston Marathon. It’s why I’ve had bitchface all day today and am currently hiding from the world with spiked cider and a book.
For the most part, my goal here is to make you guys laugh if I can. So that’s what I’m going to keep trying to do. You have enough anger and sadness on your social media — I have nothing to contribute you haven’t already heard a million times. And my thoughts on world events are more than likely not why you’re here reading the po’ folks’ Carrie Bradshaw.
So. I’m gonna go on making my little jokes and trying not to end up in The Weepy Floor Ball, which is the world’s shittiest yoga pose.
I love y’all.
As you were.
Via Variety: 
Smug Singleton 