The hero we goddamn DESERVE

I heard fan boys got pouty, so I had to do my part to ensure the lady hero gets her (well deserved) OBSCENE opening weekend total.

Sisterhood ✔️

I’ll just leave this here.

Please Proceed to Prepare for the Penis Purge

I like to think my feminist sensibilities aren’t easily offended — I’m pretty good about picking my battles.

But I just took a 20-minute car ride with my stepfather, and now, men, I’m sorry, but you’re all gonna need to be sacrificed.

Meh. Breathing is overrated.

Trying to email a man my phone number and a casual (dare I say…breezy?) invitation to hang out.

In other news, may also be having heart attack.

Definitely an anxiety attack.

I am the worst feminist.

(I’ll DO it. Shut up.)

Fuck You-tah

Oh, OK. My bad, men — I didn’t know you’d be affected. I’ll just go back to “the home,” where I prefer to be.

I love love LOVE “Mothers” with the capital “M.” That is just…MWAH, delicious.

(He has since apologized. I have since not given a fuck.)

Via Boing Boing’s Facebook page:

 

 

Smug is back with a brand-new invention.

So…hi. This is awkward. 

I shut this page down when I was laid off in September. (“I am not getting laid; therefore, I am getting laid off.” —Carrie Bradshaw.) I had more pressing priorities, like finding a job and wallowing in my personal failures.

But then… I’m not a HUGE believer in “signs from the universe,” but we do seem to be shushing female senators, and I do seem to be getting fatter, and Valentine’s Day does seem to be tomorrow, and women’s magazines do seem to be alternating cutting-edge journalism/hilar-balls sex headlines, and the President of the United States does seem to be tweeting about easy D, and y’all KNOW I can’t keep my mouth shut around some easy D, so…OK! CHRIST!

So here I am. Let’s see how this goes.

Quotable: Schumer on feminism

“I want equal pay and equal come.”
— Amy Schumer

#feminism

Happy birthday, Mr. Feminist…

There’s a point during mutual attraction at which my body takes over and tells my “proper lady” brain to shut the fuck up and enjoy. The people on the receiving end of that shift seem to enjoy it, but I’ve definitely felt disgusting and apologized for it once my brain came back. I have no idea where this comes from. It’s improved, but I sometimes still find myself sinking into a rabbit hole of self-slut-shaming for some of the choices I’ve made.

And this is also getting better but I still do tons of things I don’t want to do because I don’t want to be rude, or hurt anyone’s feelings by saying “no.”

So… this. All of this:  “We need to keep changing the attitude that raises our girls to be demure and our boys to be assertive… We need to keep changing the attitude that punishes women for their sexuality and rewards men for theirs.”

Full article via Glamour magazine: President Barack Obama on Feminism and the World He Wants to Leave His Daughters

You are a terrible person and I hope bad things happen to you.

Via Raw Story: Prominent feminist writer drops off social media after rape threat against her 5-year-old daughter.

YOU ARE WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.

Honestly. The FUCK ails you? How do you even have time to do this? I have shit to DO. Go to work and get out your mama’s basement, shitheel.

In all seriousness, I’ve been wary of posting certain things here. Not that 46 followers are going to garner me much hatred, but the page IS public. I actually just found out a friend was reading who I didn’t know was reading, and I’m a little weirded out by it. Apparently I’m totally fine telling strangers about my vagina, but I get ishy when it’s people I know?

But anyway, once you start threatening to assault children, I give less than one iota of one fuck about your rights. I hope the FBI investigates your ass. Literally.

I am the greatest feminist in the history of feminism.

I have things to post, but nothing as important as this: 13 Reasons Masturbation Is a Feminist Act.

As you were.