Sorry not sorry but no, really, sorry.

My mother just left me a 30-second voicemail during which she apologized twice for “bothering” me.

Jesus, no wonder I apologize at least once a day just for existing.

The apple doesn’t fall far from the crazy.

My mom told me that she and her husband argued yesterday, but that “everything is OK today, we’re talking like it never happened.”

So a) that’s totally healthy, and b) that’s where I get it from.