Auld Bang Syne

Friend: “You should go on a date with Edward.”
Me: “Nah, I’m gonna try to finish this year without dating — less risk of discovering I suddenly, viciously hate anyone else after I’ve slept with them. Seems like a good general life policy.”

Five more months of sexual deprivation should make for a very happy New Year’s date for whomever is around, though. (There’s a “ball drop” joke here somewhere, but I’m kind of tired.)