Oh, fuuuck YOU…

I’m shopping online for hiking shoes, which are apparently a thing I need for my goddamn VACATION? Fucking nature people. 🙄

Anyway. Guess which hiking shoe I’m NOT buying?

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Fuck you, you fucking “fashionable for ladies” fuckface. I don’t give a flying fuck if my fucking shoes are fucking fashionable!

…OK, fine, I totally care, but that’s not the MAIN thing I’m looking for. ASS. How ’bout you take your fashionable shoes for a hike up to Shut Fuck Mountain, jackass?

Dude… You know people can SEE what you say on public sites, right?

Screen Shot 2016-09-07 at 5.29.09 PM.pngSo this is a town I used to live in and (now extra) thankfully left far behind.

Via Jezebel.com: NJ Candidate to Daily Beast Reporter: ‘Hope You Get Raped by a Syrian Refugee.

I chose the Jezebel piece because it has screenshots of what he actually said, which my local source probably couldn’t print because it’s goddamn vile. But if you have a minute, please DO check out the Philly.com article and get a gander at his HANDWRITTEN resignation letter (ON BLUE PAPER. IN ALL CAPS):
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You are running for TOWNSHIP COMMITTEE in a small town in South Jersey—maybe don’t step to a journalist at a well-known NATIONAL news site with your psychotic, poorly punctuated bullshit? It still counts as a threat if you write like a first grader, shitheel.

Going for the gold in Fuckery

Screen Shot 2016-08-08 at 3.26.14 PMVia Huffington Post: The Media Is Saying And Doing A Bunch Of Sexist Stuff During The Olympics.

“A commentator said Team USA members looked like they ‘might as well be standing in the middle of a mall’ after they were caught on camera laughing and talking following their utter annihilation of the competition during the qualifying round.”

I really have nothing intelligent to say, but in fairness I think the only thing TO say is “Go fuck yourself.”

 

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See also: “Katie Ledecky swims like a man.” [upon protest] “It was a compliment.” Seen in this second article, because there was enough bullshit to write two: Stop Attributing The Success Of Women Olympians To Men.

You’re not even a good fragrance of douche.

A few months ago I posted about a man from a neighboring office in my building. I pass him in the hall sometimes and we exchange workplace pleasantries. That day, though, he asked if I’d been dieting, because I looked “really good” and “like I’d lost weight.”

I’ve seen him a few times since, and we were back to, “Good morning, how are you?”

But I just saw him again and he said, “That’s a REALLY nice dress, it looks great on you!” And elevator-eyed me.

Dude, did you skip an HR seminar or something? The last time anyone looked at me like that at work, he and I were screwing around in office closets.

I feel like a hypocrite, too, because I wouldn’t have minded the compliment on my dress coming from a man I was attracted to, or even a man I knew. The phrasing of his weight loss/diet comment was unacceptable from anyone, though — was I previously too much of a heifer to look good?

*sigh* I need another shower.

Underground Railroad, Above-Ground Stupidity

The shit we BITCH about… She’s not SMILING?!

I can’t imagine why. The Underground Railroad seemed like a real hoot.

It IS a shame she’s not smiling, since all those white dudes on my money are happy as fuck. They’re ALL whimsy and shenanigans, sticking out their tongues, one’s got a friend doing bunny ears behind his head. And OMG, it’s totes hilar-balls how Franklin’s got one of those moustaches on a stick on the $100 — motherfucker was so jolly, Santa Claus asked him for pointers. In fact, Franklin advised Santa to get the reindeer. *nod* I think I read that somewhere.

Via The Guardian: ‘Cheer up, love’ – why is Harriet Tubman being told to smile 100 years after her death?Screen Shot 2016-04-29 at 12.53.09 PM

I scream, you scream, we all scream, “You’re an asshole!”

*sigh* Just…just… UGH. Go fuck yourself, seriously. Hard. With one of the scarier, more invasive dildos.

I don’t give a single kitten’s dick who you’re voting for — no one would have asked a man that question. No one.

Hmm… OK, wait, MAYBE someone would’ve asked Chris Christie. And whoever did would still be a total fucking asshole. But I’d wager they wouldn’t, because Christie probably could and would slap the Massengill outta ya for that kinda bullshit.

A friend of mine had a better reaction: “If you watch closely, there’s a split second where she turns and looks at someone who clearly GETS IT and her face just says, ‘FUCK THESE ASSHOLES. FUCK THE PATRIARCHY.’ At least, that’s what *I* saw. Then she visibly squared herself to take on the bullshit sexism of the world and had another bite of her fucking sundae.”