Vagina burrrn (in a GOOD way!)

Via Sex with Timaree:

swt

I know the difference but still say “vagina” because I am a popular-use conformist. But I love that a dictionary site chimed in to correct this dude.

Also, not just that he corrected a woman, and a gynecologist, but he also went and corrected…The Guardian? Ballsy choice, sir. A ballsy choice about vaginas.

(The whole thing is funny if you have a few minutes to kill.)

A-OK DTF!

One more thing about these tests they’re doing…

I’m not WORRIED, but I AM happy they’re checking things out, because I only had sex twice with Guy I Dated For a Minute, and both times it hurt. Only for a second, only upon his first entry, and not enough that I had to stop, but it hurt.

And, not to be an asshole (well, maybe a little bit), but it wasn’t a size issue. I mean, it wasn’t SMALL, it was a very fine penile offering, but it wasn’t like, “Oh, shit, better brace myself.”

Obviously there are approximately 6 million perfectly logical non-serious-health-issue reasons it might have hurt, but it’ll be nice to have an all-clear on anything big.

P.S. Oh, and they HAVE cleared me! I got an email while I was writing this. One small ovarian cyst, which usually resolve on their own, but nothing else. Good work, body! (Also, no STIs or other plagues, so I am officially DTF.)

It’s like my vagina took the SAT

I’m at the classy suburban branch of Penn Medicine, and the white trash in me is SO tempted to walk in and be like, “‘Sup. I’m here ass early in the morning to have you invade my vagina with technology.”

Regular ultrasound to see my beautifully barren womb ✔️
Vaginal ultrasound to double check for any other invaders ✔️

The gel they put on the wand was so cold it was like being fingered by a rocket pop, and it’s never great to have something inside you that you didn’t invite in (vaginal vampire?), but nothing terrible.

I realize I’m being pretty cavalier about what IS actually a test to check for big scary issues, but a) the initial biopsy they took came back fine so I’m pretty sure I’M fine, and b) I have no other mental setting than equating Very Serious tests to being fingered by a rocket pop.

Human bodies are so disgusting.

So I ended up having an “endometrial biopsy” this morning. I’ll spare you the details, but my exact words during the procedure were, “Um, hey, so…this doesn’t HURT-hurt, but I would SUPER love it to be over soon.”

And then it HURT-hurt, just in a pressure-y, menstrual-cramp-y way, resulting in fun bonus bleeding, exhaustion, and quease.

Human bodies are so disgusting.

In happier news, I’ll get my period this weekend, but that’ll be the last one, because fuck you, Nature, I have a pill now. 🖕🏼