It’s been so long since I’ve had someone’s hand graze the back of my neck that I’d almost forgotten it’s one my most sensitive erogenous zones.
So praise be to lined bras, ‘cause my haircut/color could’ve just gotten hella awkward.
Pop quiz: I’m getting my hair cut and colored tomorrow. At what age do we think dyeing it pink looks a little midlife-crisis-y?
A. Pink?! Who are you, late-’90s Gwen Stefani? That shit is passé. (And quite possibly also bananas.)
B. Your age (41). It becomes sad at your age.
C. Wow, your mother really fucked you up about age as a limitation, didn’t she?
D. I mean…it’s your call, but good luck getting that job you applied for.
E. Age doesn’t mean anything, do whatever you want.*
*By the way, this is what I’m doing. If I wake up tomorrow and feel like my hair should be pink, then pink it shall be. I was just curious about perceptions.
Well, the BAD news is, there seems to have been some misunderstanding between the hair color I saw on the box I bought last night and the color that has resulted on my head.
The GOOD news is, Wednesday Addams is still a valid pop culture touchstone for an easy Halloween costume.
*snap snap*
Self Improvement Phase 1: Haircut, hair color, mani-pedi, sundress. DONE. Holy shit, I KNEW there was a real woman here somewhere! I am exhausted. But pretty. *preen*
Phase 2: New dwelling. Check!
Phase 3: PROFIT! Wait, no… That’s not it… Phase 3: Vacation! See y’all soon! ❤
The Go-Go's – Vacation from Dan Hunter on Vimeo.
As readily as I will buy whatever Christina Hendricks tells me to (Johnnie Walker for life!), if this transformation was achieved with a DIY home hair color, I am a Christian supermodel.
I think the reason I’m not buying Tina Fey as the Garnier haircolor spokesperson is that I like to think of Tina Fey as a magical unicorn of a woman who is so awesomely self-assured that she doesn’t give her hair that much thought. She’s too busy being smart and funny, and a hero to nerd girls everywhere.
This is absurd, because I do realize her hair doesn’t just look like that when she rolls out of bed. Nerd girls deserve fabulous hair, too. And I’m glad a gorgeous, smart, funny lady is selling me something for once, but it’s just not working for me.
I may also just have Garnier trauma after the Orange Hair Incident of ’06. You could get Jesus as your spokesperson and I wouldn’t believe Him. But since Tina Fey is basically my Jesus, I guess it’s the same idea.
Smug Singleton 