I feel guilty and shallow about how much it’s changed my life to learn I can pop into a Hair Cuttery at lunchtime, give a nice lady $20, and she will wash my raggedy hair, take the 9 hours necessary to blowdry it all, and make it way prettier than I ever do.
But it IS pretty goddamn delightful. Good work, America. (FUCK, YEAH!)
Oh, like you DON’T get your hair done so you look nice at your friend’s sex toy workshop later.
Oh.
You don’t?
Well, shit.
Look, I have to get washed and blown SOMEHOW, people.
I don’t know how men manage to get haircuts without getting visibly aroused. I got mine cut today, and noticed I get minor ladywood when someone — man or woman — repeatedly runs their hands through my hair or tugs it a bit. It all feels really lovely in the biblical sense.
Men must be walking around the Hair Cuttery at half-staff.
Holy shit… Is THAT why they make those haircut capes so long?! Well played, styling industry. Well played.
Smug Singleton 