Pretty Pretty Patriot/Freedom Hair

I feel guilty and shallow about how much it’s changed my life to learn I can pop into a Hair Cuttery at lunchtime, give a nice lady $20, and she will wash my raggedy hair, take the 9 hours necessary to blowdry it all, and make it way prettier than I ever do.

But it IS pretty goddamn delightful. Good work, America. (FUCK, YEAH!)

Hair Smuttery

I don’t know how men manage to get haircuts without getting visibly aroused. I got mine cut today, and noticed I get minor ladywood when someone — man or woman — repeatedly runs their hands through my hair or tugs it a bit. It all feels really lovely in the biblical sense.

Men must be walking around the Hair Cuttery at half-staff.

Holy shit… Is THAT why they make those haircut capes so long?! Well played, styling industry. Well played.