Nope. No. This is not what’s going to happen.

I’ve been in a fight with my brain and frankly it’s winning, including skipping the gym all week and a triumphant return to feelings-eating that’s left me no longer able to see the changes in my body exercise had achieved.

But fuck you, Brain — I’m smarter than you. Nice people are delivering me healthy food so I’m prepared for Philly’s forthcoming bullshit snowstorm. So if you insist on staying indoors, that’s fine. But you are gonna drink weird fruit smoothies and do SOME form of exercise and have a goddamn productive day, and you are going to LIKE IT. And tomorrow you’re talking to the therapist.

Asshole.

Why…ARE people?

I was in a perfectly fine mood this morning after seeing many sweatered dogs at the farmers market. Dogs in sweaters are, like, bonus Paxil.

But then I spent 2 hours with my family, and got a few texts about work, and now I’m in bed with a blanket over my head and earplugs to block out any outside noise that may infiltrate my fragile senses.

Apparently even though the Pill stops my actual period, it doesn’t do much for PMS with a side of family and stress.

Anyone got any crack?

Because this blog is often fueled by onion rings.

About twice a month, I order food from my local pizza place using the Eat24 app.

While I knew the app would be amazing and useful for antisocial hermits such as myself, what I didn’t expect was that their blog would be funnier than mine.

Enjoy.