a) This is basically how I imagine myself looking and sounding when I sing this song in my car. (Delusions of WHAT, now?)
b) I am going to need that dress, like, IMMEDIATELY. Damn, girl — HIPS. Let’s be BFFs and share clothes. I would wear the similar hell out of that.
c) Now that they’re divorcing, can I also bang Blake Shelton?
Ahem. I’ll just leave this here…
Men Are Totally Hardwired by Evolution to Prefer Curvy Women, Study Finds
BTW, I have nothing against thin women. We are all lovely — sisterhood, rah rah, etc. I just enjoy the notion that BEING chubby CAUSES chubbies, that it’s part of evolution. That’s delightful. Good work, Science!
Also, I mean… I do like big butts. I cannot lie.
It kinda sucks that, according to this article, I’m wasting perfectly good childbearing hips by not procreating, but I’m kind of OK with that.
#datass
For someone who’s so into words, you’d think I’d be less anxious about merely introducing myself to some dude on a dating site.
I have no line. It’s like, “Hi. I’m saying hi.”
This is what I get for mocking guys with prosaic intro messages. Because really, every “hi” is just short for “Hello. I share your affinity for burritos, and I would like our genitals to become acquainted in the not-too-distant future.”
I’m not UNattractive, but I’m not, like, autopilot hot — I’m not one of those absurdly gorgeous women who can just say “hi” and have a guy fall at her feet. I’m like Tina Fey hot — I’m cute and I have good hips, but I still have to rely on my wit. Except I can’t FIND my wit, because I am so tremendously awkward.
*deep breath*
It’s cool. It’s like any other piece of writing: just keep drafting, saving, revising, until I end up with something that doesn’t make me feel like a talentless hack. (Except in this case, my photo is with it, and my personality in the form of my profile, so if he doesn’t respond, I will also feel hideous and boring. So that should be fun…)
Get it, girl. Your fellow hip-havers salute you!
One of the reasons I love watching Scandal is that there are women with some curves up in that biz.
Skinny women are beautiful, too, but I do hope you’ll pardon me if I’m partial to a brunette with a great rack, curvaceous hips, and shapely thighs. Goddamn, girl, get it.
Smug Singleton 