Dude is a hoarder of the LADIES, amirite?

Wait a second…

How am *I* dying alone while this dipshit walrus-lookin’ Hoarder with an old-school Nokia clipped to his belt is not only married but also has a sidepiece?

Motherfucker got ladies lined UP for that mustache ride, damn.

Dildo Avalanche: Rockin’ Out With Your Fake Cock Out

I don’t know what you talk to YOUR friends about on a Wednesday morning…

Me: “Are you going to that sex toy party on Saturday? I think I’m set for faux dick right now. I don’t want to be a dildo hoarder. Worst episode ever.”

Friend: “Could you imagine if that was a real thing? ::opens closet:: ::dildo avalanche::”

Me: “Dildo Avalanche. GREAT band name.”