Going for the gold in Fuckery

Screen Shot 2016-08-08 at 3.26.14 PMVia Huffington Post: The Media Is Saying And Doing A Bunch Of Sexist Stuff During The Olympics.

“A commentator said Team USA members looked like they ‘might as well be standing in the middle of a mall’ after they were caught on camera laughing and talking following their utter annihilation of the competition during the qualifying round.”

I really have nothing intelligent to say, but in fairness I think the only thing TO say is “Go fuck yourself.”


Screen Shot 2016-08-08 at 3.33.36 PM.png

See also: “Katie Ledecky swims like a man.” [upon protest] “It was a compliment.” Seen in this second article, because there was enough bullshit to write two: Stop Attributing The Success Of Women Olympians To Men.

Sinful sneakers

Via Huffington Post: Adidas Shuts Down Homophobic Commenters In The Best Way Possible.


…Right, then.

So we’re all gonna go buy at least one pair of Adidas shoes?

Good. Glad we had this talk.

The HELL? My brain saw “super-cute shoes” on “feet.” Not on “gay feet.” How does that even cross your mind?

Also? They’re SHOES. On INSTAGRAM. How do you have time to give even ONE baker’s fuck about this? Or does “being an asshole on the Internet” now count as “doing God’s work?”

Re-blog: 7 Incredibly Inventive Names For Masturbation To Use ASAP

May is National Masturbation Month, so get on it, patriots, and call it something cute. ‪#‎murrica‬

Via Huffington Post: 7 Incredibly Inventive Names For Masturbation To Use ASAP 


You know…sometimes you can just NOT say things.

Via Huffington Post: Public Food-Shaming Is The Insidious Type Of Street Harassment No One Is Talking About20140724-110802-40082515.jpgI debated posting this, because SOMETIMES I wonder if all this hand-wringing about bullying/shaming is overkill and maybe we all just need to toughen up a bit.

At the same time…people are fucking awful and I can’t believe they say these things to another human being.

And I’m not gonna lie, I still remember my mother’s coworker asking “Why are you so fat?” when I was a kid, or a neighbor telling me I didn’t need another doughnut because I was “big enough.” I was like 10. Shit stays with you. (Yes, they were assholes, and their opinions don’t matter to me, and I’ll eat a goddamn doughnut now if I want to, LIKE AN ADULT. But…it stays with you.)

So… I don’t know. Maybe don’t be a dick? That’s sort of my point here.

P.S. I left the ad for Breyer’s Gelato in my screen grab of that image, because how hilariously perfect is that?

No shame in my menstruation game.

Via Huffington Post: This Ode To Periods Puts All Shamers To Rest.

I’m really not big into the “Kumbaya sisterhood,” “menstruation is a miracle of womanly nature” shit.

But, um… fuck you. I don’t CHOOSE to menstruate — I don’t think anyone would. It’s a pain in the ladyballs, it’s uncomfortable, it’s exhausting. Salted caramel chocolates and Pamprin become necessary so I don’t fucking cut YOU every 28 days so you’re bleeding as well, and then there’s the feminine products, so menstruation is also expensive.

So you can kiss my bloated lady-belly for even ATTEMPTING to shame any woman for it. We don’t talk shit on YOU because your balls look like the shitty Christmas ornaments you don’t put on the tree because they’re not pretty enough.

Also? You’re an idiot. I’ll say it — period sex is AMAZING. At least for me, that first few days before it gets too hectic in the DMZ, you WANT to be fucking me. All the good bits are extra sensitive, so you barely have to TRY and I’m coming like an adolescent boy who’s just discovered what his dick does.

So yeah. Go fuck yourself, sir, because no one else should.

From the Department of Unintended Sexist Irony

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE this video: “I Like a Girl Who Reads Is the Anthem Every Bookworm Needs to Hear.” An adorable British chap waxing poetic about his love of literate women? Adorbs.


Fuck you, Huffington Post, for introducing it with some BULLSHIT about how shameful it is that our culture so often sexualizes and objectifies women, and then slapping together such a ludicrous headline. I “need to hear” that men like a girl who reads?

Look, I’m not even gon’ front — it fucking well BETTER be hot that I read. He should read, too, because I’m not abiding illiterate dick. But I don’t “need to hear” that men find it sexy. If he doesn’t find it sexy, he can step off, and that’s his loss, not mine.

Eat a dick, HuffPo. Men find that hot, too.