Headline on Google News: “Six Phrases More Important than ‘I Love You.'”
1. “You look great today.”
2. “I brought you coffee.”
3. “I’ll keep going until you’re satisfied.”
4. “I’ll leave you alone to watch ‘Scandal.'”
5. “I cleaned up the house a bit.”
6. “Let’s get some pancakes.”
New rule: You don’t get to say you miss me because I haven’t been on Facebook. That’s not how life works. I have a phone. Email. Texting. We have cars. There’s no reason for you to lament not being in touch with me if you want to be.
If a Facebook break is what makes you say you miss me, I don’t believe you do. If I miss you, I talk to you. I don’t wait for you to spoon-feed me carefully edited bits of your life in a stream of 200 other people I don’t care about enough to keep in real touch with. No.
I am more wary of saying “I miss you” than saying “I love you,” which is probably fucked up. I love lots of people, but rarely miss any. I miss, like, five people, sometimes, and then I make an effort to interact with them. It’s not that hard. At all.