I probably won’t end up naked, though.

I’m certainly not the first to observe this, but going to a job interview is like going on a first date.

Like, “This, right here? The smooth, curled hair and the makeup and the dress and the tights? Yeah, I will NEVER look like this when shit gets real.”

I should be able to interview in jeans and a plain white t-shirt, with wet-from-the-shower hair tossed up in a half-ass ponytail, wearing sunscreen and Chapstick as makeup. That is how I will look if I work for/date you.*

It’s like Chris Rock said: “You can’t get nobody looking like you look, acting like you act, sounding like you sound. When you meet somebody for the first time, you’re not meeting THEM — you’re meeting their representative!”

“I got my ticket for the long way ’round…”

I’d finally sorted through SOME of the shit rolling around in my head, at least enough to decide I want to continue living and working where I am (East Coast), rather than moving away and starting over completely.

So obviously I just scheduled a phone interview for a job in Orlando. Because why wouldn’t I?