New Jersey Porn Addict = ROMANCE!

I just learned Netflix lists Don Jon under “Romance.”

I guess they’d be getting too specific if they started doing categories like “Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s fine ass.”

Equal-Opportunity Ogling

Despite the horrific “Jersey” accents, I might need to get Don Jon on DVD just so I can see Joseph Gordon-Levitt shirtless and thrusting whenever the mood strikes me.

And the mood does strike me. Often. Lordy, I would do everything to that man.

Also, I’ve never really been aware of Scarlett Johansson before, and I sort of get it now — I don’t want to have sex wth her, but I do kind of want to build altars to her ass. Get it, girl, damn. Note to self: do some squats.

My “feminism” means I get to lick his feminism.

I wanna lick him a little more now. Oh. Wait. Bad feminist! But also… *lick*

Joseph Gordon-Levitt talks to Ellen DeGeneres about being a feminist.

Sex biscuit sandwich.

Stephen Colbert: “Pornography masturbates to me.”
Joseph Gordon-Levitt: “People masturbate to me.”

I want both of them so much right now. UNF.