Monday morning egotism

I finally added photos to my OKCupid profile last night, and this morning I have 52 new “likes” and several messages. One message called me “beautiful” and the other “lovely.”

Not a bad way to start a Monday.

P.S. There’s also another message from Tim, the “We live close by” guy. It’s basically the same introductory message about his “jurisDICKtion.” Oh, Tim. You are smooth like a baby’s ass, my friend.

You have no jurisDICKtion here.

This was a guy’s first message to me on OKCupid: “Hey I’m Tim. We don’t live overly far apart.”

That’s all he said.

Now, I don’t need a sonnet, by any means, but I feel like if the best you can do is, “We live in the same area,” we probably don’t have much in common, or you didn’t bother reading the rest of my profile after location.

I sent it to a friend, and her response was: “I like the idea that you are on the edge of his circumference of boning, near the limit of his jurisDICKtion. I’m now disappointed that he didn’t make those jokes, and that I did.”

“JurisDICKtion,” you guys. My friends are amazing.