Kermit Kismet

About an hour ago I sent a guy a first OkCupid message, and this is one of those times I feel like, if he doesn’t write back, he’s just screwing up the natural order of things.

Like, “Hi. You’re cute, and your profile pic is you with a Kermit on your shoulder. We have to at least be friends. Like, NOW. Write me back before some ‘Butterfly Effect’ shit happens.”