Friday night I signed up for Bumble. Late Saturday night I sent messages to eight entire men. Today I’m staring at the phone waiting for the guy who looks like a more reserved Pete Holmes to write me back, because damn, dude, HIGH TIDE.
(If you haven’t heard the Holmes bit, the high tide is in my pants.) 🌊
Heh. What a coincidence — I also like Dick.
“I don’t really NEED to be on dating apps, I’m fine being single.”
“You just got bored while masturbating.”
Scott Foley is going gray and my body was not ready for these feelings.