“Ugh! What is your childhood trauma?!”

So I went to therapy, and we ended up talking about childhood, which, no matter how, “I’m an adult, I’m not dealing with childhood” I am, apparently childhood can fuck up your shit and stunt your development and make you a goddamn weirdo as an adult, so now we have to talk about it and I almost cried twice and FUCK crying, crying is for teenagers and women who watch Lifetime and also fuck fuck fuck don’t wanna don’t wanna don’t wanna.

*pant* *pant* *pant*

Ahem. WHAT stunted development…?

Entropy > Therapy

The other day I told my therapist that I think the country is fucked beyond repair, and she had no counterpoint, and THEN all this shit in VA happened so… yeah…

Drink up, y’all. Humanity’s had a good run. Cheers.

Eat a dick, Monday

Sometimes when I have a terrible weekend, I can take a lovely, fuck-the-environment-long hot shower on Monday morning and leave it behind.

Then sometimes I try to leave for work and find out my car is dead.

And that’s fun, too. Like an extended dance fiesta shitty weekend remix.

P.S. Aaand of course the tow truck dude is incredulous that I “don’t have a guy” who can drive me to work while it’s being fixed. Thanks, man, ‘ppreciate that.

Judge not, lest ye be an asshole

One of my OkCupid photos was taken in a pin-up-inspired boutique I went to with friends. I tried on a dress that fit better than any glove, accentuated all my best bits, and looked STUPID-good. But I couldn’t rationalize spending $130 on it, so I asked my friends take a photo.

I added the pic to OKC, captioned: “Taken in a fitting room. I didn’t buy the dress. Because I am an idiot.”

Today I get a first OKC message from a guy saying, “Yes you should have bought that dress…” That’s the whole message.

I go to his profile, because he’s attractive enough, and his FIRST sentence is, “Only thing that seems to matter is how one looks on here.”

Oh, OK, so you’re saying you don’t like being judged only on appearance? So despite my completely-filled-in profile with many non-appearance-related conversation starters, you went with…commenting only on my appearance?

You do that math, dearie. I’ll wait…

And dammit, I SHOULD have bought that dress. I can’t even believe that’s my body — I am cute as fuck.

P.S. He sent a followup message 20 minutes later, saying, “That was a compliment. .. you’re gorgeous. … ”

Um, I KNOW it was a compliment, or at least I know that’s what you were going for. Do you think I’m too pretty to know how words work? Do I owe you a “thank you?” Go fuck yourself with your ellipses, and why the SHIT are you ALSO using periods? That’s not how any of this works!

*pant* *pant* *pant*

…Ahem. What mood swing?