“Do you take this man for a few hours?”

When I told a coworker I’d hired movers for the first time, she jokingly said, “Oh, you hired husbands! Good for you!”

I did hire husbands, and it’s exactly the relationship I wanted: Two big, strong men to service me for a few hours and then get the hell out. 

(We’ll just gloss over the whole “paying them” thing. That’s where my metaphor gets a little gross.)