I heard fan boys got pouty, so I had to do my part to ensure the lady hero gets her (well deserved) OBSCENE opening weekend total.
Me: “My scale still hasn’t moved, but I can see and feel changes in my body, so I know the scale is just being a jerk.”
Therapist: “I’m glad you blame the scale. Some people blame themselves, thinking they have to exercise more often or restrict their diets more.”
Me: “No way. Why should *I* change? He’s the one who sucks.”
Aaand that’s how I decided to name my scale Michael Bolton.
Oh, fuck you, Netflix.
Read the room, man, DAMN — today is for cartoons and British people baking. I’m at capacity on political shit right now.
“This Mother’s Day, get Mom the gift of…one of the most fucked up mother-daughter relationships in history. You’re welcome. We’re Target.”