I ordered swimsuits online so I could try them on and suffer privately, and perhaps call my therapist.
And I love knowing before I even open it that my breast is not fitting in there.
That’s adorable, though. You tried.
It’s been so long since I’ve had someone’s hand graze the back of my neck that I’d almost forgotten it’s one my most sensitive erogenous zones.
So praise be to lined bras, ‘cause my haircut/color could’ve just gotten hella awkward.
I ordered a few new sports bras from Amazon because mine were all a decade old and pinched my shoulders, and… Y’all, Glamorise is NOT fucking around.
FIVE HOOKS.
And I’m short, so this covers about 1/3 of my back.
The ULTIMATE in mammary security!
Hi.
My breast and I voted.
Now leave me the hell alone.
I thought about buying this shirt to wear on Christmas, but then I realized my nipples would be Santa’s eyes, and…nah.
Wait… just ONE?
Do I have to choose which one? That seems harsh — “Sorry, Righty. I’ll pray for you.”
I have questions.
I wore a new bra to work today and I keep getting distracted by my own boobs.
“Oh, hey! How’d y’all get up there?!”
It’s adorable how I just ordered this as if, even in its largest size, it will ever EVER even fit right, let alone function as a sports bra. #HeavyBoobs
Via Reductress: 5 Selfie Angles You’ll Use Just to Show Off Your Boobs
Dear Everyone Who’s Told Me I Should Watch My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend,
I am so very sorry I didn’t listen. My entire life is canceled until I’ve seen them all.
Sincerest apologies from me and my heavy boobs,
Smug
Smug Singleton 