No, really. Tell me more about things you don’t know.

My OkCupid profile says I’m going to my niece’s birthday this weekend “with an irresponsible quantity of My Little Pony gifts,” and a man just sent me the following first message:

“Considering your propensity for my little pony gifts – do you worry you may be spurring your niece to be a brony in the making? (Yes, that is a real word – after the likely google search – you are welcome 😉 )”

Um, have YOU Googled it…? Shitheel.

I’d write back to correct him, and to remind him Bronies are awesome, but he already bugs me. You think you’re dropping some Pony science on ME? Pfft.

I have officially become a master of inferring probably-nonexistent condescension.

P.S. I emailed a friend about this, and she replied, “Idiot. Girls are Pegasisters. Duh.”

Life Lessons from Small Ponies. 

You could probably tell I didn’t have the best emotional time over the weekend (fuck the entire Venn diagram of the holidays and PMS, seriously). Male BFF was concerned and invited me over for alcohol and merriment with him and his lady, one of my Female BFFs.

I declined but texted my thanks, and man, I tell ya, the My Little Ponies are right — friendship IS magic: