Mmmmm, salty salty salty…

I might also need THIS shirt, but it’ll be my little secret that “it” = “anxiety and half an eating disorder.”

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Not today, motherfucker.

BOY, BYE. 🖕🏼

The other day my mother told me she thinks he should be acquitted, because “It was the ’70s, that was just what happened.”

MY MOTHER.

But also, this particular conviction was for some 2004 shit, so you can fuck right the hell off, MOM. (I seriously might call her.)

Well, at least there’s that.

Quotable therapist: “I promise, you don’t hit menopause and automatically become a Republican.”

You heard it here, folks.

#science