Selly Celly

I almost never say “mansplaining,” but I absolutely just had it happen to me, via a Facebook friend I rarely talk to. (Come to think of it, I don’t know why we’re Facebook friends. I will remedy that.)
I mentioned I was going to a cell phone store, NOT requesting help in any way. But he climbed straight up my ass: “What do you need? Oh, a new phone? What kind? Have you been with them long? You might be better off calling to find out what they’ll offer you for customer retention. You should wait to see what they’re offering for Black Friday. And other stores might have better deals. Be careful with the plans they offer you. Check if it’s an authorized retailer or a franchise store, that might affect what they can give you.”
*looking around* Um…I AM literate, right? To read makes my speaking English good? I’ve had a cell phone for 15 years. I think I got this. Also, I am a grown woman who’s worked in retail and shopped for things allllll by myself for a good portion of my life. I know sales BS when I hear it, and I CAN do math (if given enough time and a pencil and paper). Under the T&A, I promise there’s a fairly functional adult. True story: they let me drive a car and everything. I am going to a store to get information. If the information pleases me, I will make a purchase. That is how shopping works.
Sidebar: my current phone is possessed such that I don’t care about Black Friday. I will spend money to guarantee I’m NOT phantom dialing obscure contacts without touching the phone. (Thankfully I deleted all my ill-advised “dates” from the phone, so it can’t call anyone dangerous, but it’s still not optimal.)