My moisturizer judges me.

The label on my “nighttime” moisturizer specifies that it “works well under makeup.”

Because clearly my bedmate would be so repulsed by my bare face that I should consider investing in a bedtime color palette? At least a light foundation, Jesus. I can’t let him see…my FACE. Horrors!

Or, a more likely subtext: “We know you’re a half-assed adult and don’t wash your face before bed half the time. So when you invariably screw up and end up using this product in the morning? Neutrogena has your back!”