Weird new interpretation of “He sees you when you’re sleeping…”

I thought about buying this shirt to wear on Christmas, but then I realized my nipples would be Santa’s eyes, and…nah.

Know-it-all nipples

Today someone found this blog by searching “smug nipples.”

I fucking love you people.

Yay, women! And also nipples!

I took a bit of a…vacation. We’ll call it a vacation.

And I was waiting for just the right time to come back to blogging, and lo, the Universe bestowed upon me this priceless bit of ad placement in a “Cosmopolitan” article titled “The 20 Best Moments for Women in 2014.”

Yay, women! And also nipples!