Oh, OK, cool, ‘cause my fat ass needed to save some money not shopping your bullshit, anyway, you word-misusing jagoff fuckface. (Even putting aside this topic, dude sounds like a complete tool.)
I was in a perfectly fine mood this morning after seeing many sweatered dogs at the farmers market. Dogs in sweaters are, like, bonus Paxil.
But then I spent 2 hours with my family, and got a few texts about work, and now I’m in bed with a blanket over my head and earplugs to block out any outside noise that may infiltrate my fragile senses.
Apparently even though the Pill stops my actual period, it doesn’t do much for PMS with a side of family and stress.
Anyone got any crack?
This is the autogenerated tweet Twitter suggested to celebrate my 50th follower.
A. Even this TWEET doesn’t give a fuck about 50, only its progress toward 100.
B. Twitter, have y’all just never HEARD “Livin’ on a Prayer?”
C. This…isn’t even grammar.
Oh, fuck you, Netflix.
Read the room, man, DAMN — today is for cartoons and British people baking. I’m at capacity on political shit right now.
Sorry. (🎶Not sorry…🎵)
All I’m sayin’ is, your tits are bigger than mine, sir, so if I’M not allowed to be topless in public, YOU shouldn’t be, either.
Let us all salute this brave man for coming forward to correct my assessment of MY OWN SENSE OF HUMOR in my online dating profile. Phew! Thank GOD you were here, sir.
“Hey, Smug, how’s online dating going?”SO glad you asked, gentle reader!
I’m not sure, but I think a man just mansplained another mansplainer to me, and now my head hurts.
They changed OkCupid’s messaging, so I often don’t see first messages for a few weeks. Today I encountered this one.
There a few different directions it could be headed. I’m curious, but not so much that I’ll reply just to find out.