OkCupid disabled the feature where you can see who’s viewed your profile.
At first I was pissed, because hey, dude looks at me, I go look at dude (or vice versa), maybe we start a conversation.
But now I have to just, like… TALK to them if I want them to see me?! Fuck that, that’s madness.
HOWEVER. For the dudes who have photos of their fine-ass half-dressed bodies as profile pics, now I can check out their junk and not have to worry about them messaging me all, “Hey, I noticed you checked out my junk.”
So… There’s that. Junk ahoy, y’all!
Sometimes the red flags are so subtle they might not even be there, but I’m not taking a chance on a dude who seems to be implying that sane women are a rarity.
Woke up to this first OkCupid message, so if you need me, I’ll be taking 47 boiling hot showers trying to get the douche off me.
And then, apparently, joining ALLLLLL the gyms.
First OkCupid message:
I actually don’t think a man ever has reacted my voice. I’m sure they’ve reacted to things I’ve said, but that’s because I’m a wanton harlot, not because of my voice.
Again, though, thanks for the heads up about your mini-fetish. As someone who is also aurally fixated, I respect it. But you’re creepy about it, and you used emojis, and…no.
This feels like I’m being catfished by some pervy Ursula.
I saw this in a man’s OkCupid profile, and… Is this a big enough issue for men that y’all need to disclaim it away up front?
Are there women out there all, “Get you a man who’s been in a gang/jail and has no job?”
But hey, good on you, sir — establishing your boundaries and managing my expectations. Ahem…I guess…
First message on OkCupid:
A. I have a name, and it is not “babe.”
B. Maybe don’t refer to my appearance in any way when YOUR photo is of…I’m guessing a door?
I should’ve moved faster with the two OkCupid guys I’ve been messaging with, so when Dude I’d Been Dating got back from vacation and texted to see if I can hang out this weekend, my response could’ve been, “Oh! You’re still here? Sorry, no, I have two dates this weekend.”
Kidding. Mostly. It’ll be good to have that talk. Fine. FINE!
I also think we should have sex one more time BEFORE we talk, because I have a vivid masturbation fantasy that takes place on his couch and I’d like to see how that pans out in reality, but we’ll see what happens.