Accurate.

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Art imitating life

When I told my therapist I was having a hard time getting myself to respond to OkCupid messages, even when I WANTED to, and I went over my previous experiences with online dating, she said, “Well, yeah, that makes sense. If you’d tried ice skating 10 times and ended up breaking an ankle every time, you probably wouldn’t be too excited to try again.”YUP.

The Life-Changing Magic of Squirting in the Supermarket

This is a man’s answer to one of the sex questions on OkCupid, and I want to write to him solely to ask what the WRONG moment/conditions would be.

Outside of “during sex,” when/where else do you think I’m doing that? Do you think I can just do it spontaneously, like…in the supermarket? Because a) I can’t, but also b) Yeah, I can see how people might frown on that. That’s pretty rude, plus it fucks up your pants for the rest of the day.

This man’s stomach is screwing up my evaluation process.

Email to friends: “Usually if I see a dude on OkCupid with shirtless selfies in his profile, I pass, but, um… a) I want to lick this guy’s stomach, and b) DOG!”
 
P.S. I blurred his face to post the pic here — he’s not some super weird self-face-blurring shirtless dude.
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