Dry, Eagles, Dryyy

I MAY have been OkCupid ghosted because I told the guy I didn’t watch the Eagles playoff game last weekend.

Which, you know…that’s fine. Enjoy waiting for the Eagles to wet your dick.

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Live by the Golden Rule…unless it’s funny not to.

I am generally against sharing OkCupid usernames and photos, and I try not to do it, and whenever I do, I always feel bad, because I wouldn’t want anyone sharing MINE.

That said… I’m not even sure what to make of this combination of things, but it amused me.

Possibly because this is MOST DEFINITELY what Jesus would do?

Discounted snacks v. discounted dating

It probably speaks volumes about my romantic future that today I received email coupons from both OkCupid and Grubhub, and deleted the OKC one without reading it, but hopped on that Grubhub shit like white on rice. (Especially since I used it to order Indian food, so literal white rice is forthcoming. As is my true soulmate, paneer.)

Oh, good. I didn’t doom humanity.

This guy wrote me back, so don’t worry, my dating preferences didn’t just doom the future. (Not that the future’s lookin’ all that rosy, anyway, but at least *I* didn’t break it by hitting on a Muppet enthusiast.)

“You ain’t seen me crazy yet.”

I have a lot of weird little things I consider immediate red flags in dating profiles. Some, yeah, I’m basically Chandler Bing, but there are a few I maintain are just good sense.

One is, if he seems to be implying most women are crazy, even (especially?) as a joke.

But other than this one comment — which I think is…BORDERLINE red flag… like…a pale red… and the flag is small — this man seems nice, smart, and attractive, and sent me a perfectly polite first message.

So I’m going to answer, but let the record show, my guard is UP. FIGHT MY CRAZY, BROSEPH.