Family, Food, Facebook, Fat, Fuck.

I had written all this high and mighty shit about feeling bad for my mom, because she’s so worried about her weight that she deprives herself of delicious food. I prattled on about how I was glad I let myself enjoy food, because pfft, I’m clearly SO above those outdated ideas, and fuck it, we only get one trip through here, so we might as well have cake.

Aaand then my brother Facebook-tagged me in some party pics from the other night, and you know those weight-loss ads where the women are all, “I saw myself in a photo and realized I am a giant fuckoff hambeast?” Yeahhh… I’m gonna have to rebuild some of that body confidence I’d been having.

Cameras lie, though. They are tricksy and false. Basically wizards. Shifty wizards, in cahoots with angles and lighting. That’s right, I said it — cahoots.

Still, maybe some exercise is in order. We all know I’ll do whatever Shaun T tells me to.

No kale, though.

Fuck kale.

In which I WANT to be screwed by the patriarchy.

So there’s this blog floating around the Internet about how all heterosexual sex is rape, and even if women THINK we want it, it’s just patriarchal programming warping our delicate lady-brains.

I’m not dignifying it by linking to it, but I am going to share my friend’s response to the description:

“I didn’t click the link because I am in a happy place and do not want to be filled with rage. But you know what I do want to be filled with? Cock. *mic drop*”