“Oh, don’t mind me. I’m punching for two now.”

Via XOJane.com: Hey Total Strangers, Please Don’t Feel Entitled to Touch my Pregnant Tummy.

A very small part of the reason I don’t want to have children is a fear I couldn’t survive 9 hormone-saturated months without physically assaulting strangers who touch me or give me unsolicited advice about childbirth. The only thing worse than people invading my barren uterus would probably be people intruding when there’s an occupant.

I can’t fall asleep if the person I’ve just fucked senseless is still touching me, even to cuddle. Don’t think I won’t cunt-punt a stranger for invading my dance space.