So… The idea behind “washboard abs” is that I rub myself all over him and get clean, right?
Because I’m suddenly feeling very, VERY dirty. (In the best possible way.)
(Yes, I know he’s gay, and married. And? “My special gift has always been impossible relationships.”)
Just so I’m not a TOTAL buzzkill today, I saw this old magazine cover on Nigella Lawson’s Twitter feed and sent it to a friend who shares my Nigella boner.
Me: “They CLEARLY did that on purpose.”
Him: “If that’s an accident, I’ll eat that dog.”
Do you think he was absent the day they went over irony?
I’d love to be able to blame PMS, but really, I just can’t foresee any reality that doesn’t involve these going in my face. And there was a coupon.
Fun fact: when you look up “dat ass” in the dictionary, this is the photo you’ll see.
I’d apologize for objectifying him, but… hot damn, I wanna bite him. UNF.