I can’t believe I’m a grownup…

Heh…heh… [/beavis]

Gotta get dirty to get clean!

So… The idea behind “washboard abs” is that I rub myself all over him and get clean, right?

Because I’m suddenly feeling very, VERY dirty. (In the best possible way.)

(Yes, I know he’s gay, and married. And? “My special gift has always been impossible relationships.”)

Mmm, Nigella-licious.

Just so I’m not a TOTAL buzzkill today, I saw this old magazine cover on Nigella Lawson’s Twitter feed and sent it to a friend who shares my Nigella boner.

Me: “They CLEARLY did that on purpose.”
Him: “If that’s an accident, I’ll eat that dog.”

As seen on the Word Porn Facebook page…

Today’s OkCupid winner.

Do you think he was absent the day they went over irony?

Mmm… Delicious, delicious feelings…

I’d love to be able to blame PMS, but really, I just can’t foresee any reality that doesn’t involve these going in my face. And there was a coupon.

Making the tough choices here at Smug HQ…

What…the fuck?

Damn. Nailed it.

“Trust and believe…” in a damn fine ass.

Fun fact: when you look up “dat ass” in the dictionary, this is the photo you’ll see.

I’d apologize for objectifying him, but… hot damn, I wanna bite him. UNF.