Can’t close the deal, can’t open my legs.

I’m growing a little weary of having to tell grown-ass men to use their words.

Gentlemen, this is not cute. You’re trying to get a date, not nuclear secrets. If I didn’t want you to ask, I wouldn’t have said I was free. But you actually have to ask, not just pussyfoot around. Don’t establish we’re both available and then stop talking and make ME take the next step.

I should have held out to see how long it would take him to ask an actual question. I waited about half an hour to see if there’d be a followup text. No dice.

Yes, I’m a modern woman, but goddamn, come correct. Pitch some woo. What you’re doing is worse than a seventh-grader asking a girl to a dance using a “yes or no?” note — at least that’s an answerable question.