Cupid throws a curveball

I got an introductory message from an ostensibly grownup man on OkCupid.

It seems as if he knows how to use words, he doesn’t look like a murderer or Warrant, and he didn’t offer me anal (at least not immediately).

I don’t understand…Can the site even work that way?

I should call the police, right?

(By the way, I have no idea what to say. Are you shitting me? It’s bad enough I have no game in person. Am I seriously a writer who can’t respond to some random dude on a dating site?!)