“And doggonnit, people like me.”

Really the only assurance I have that I’m a “real writer” is my constant, crippling self-doubt when I go to send a resume for a job that involves a lot of writing, and my brain is all, “Your writing is only good enough for silly Internet dick jokes, and for making real-life Facebook friends chuckle with posts about cake or the indignities of Mondays. No one is going to PAY you to write.”

Suck it, gremlins. We’re applying.

“You’re a hack!”

SHUT UP. Your mom’s a hack!