Sometimes I talk to my ex and remember the rapport we have, and wonder how I’ll ever get even close to that with anyone else. I felt the potential for it with one other person, but it wasn’t mutual.
It’s a rhythm and a chemistry that’s so important, so rare, and (I’ve found) impossible to create if it’s not there innately. And then you build on that until it’s almost like your own language. I have that with a lot of friends, but the idea of trying to get there again with a new Romantic Person is daunting to the point of exhaustion.
(I understand this isn’t logical. It’s just a brain spasm I get sometimes. Usually on crazy hormone days where my most fulfilling relationships are with lasagna and gin.)