Prince Charming, Pinot. (Heh. I said “peen.”)

My handsome prince is here to rescue me!

(What? That’s a healthy attitude, right…?) 

 

Have you accepted Smug Singleton as your personal savior?

Part of a first message from an OKCupid guy: “How are things going for you on OKC? I haven’t had any bad experiences, but I’m really looking for someone to get me off of here forever. Could it be you? LOL”

No, see…

A. “I’m really looking for someone to get me off…” Tee hee. (Let’s be honest — that’s part of the subtext on anyone’s profile, mine included.)

B. Oh, sorry, I can’t go out with you. I have to go huddle in a ball in the corner and hyperventilate over the (likely misperceived) pressure of being your “LOL” Dating Site Savior.