Really? You didn’t think to…REALLY?!

Via Poynter: Seattle Times apologizes to readers for Clinton front page:

Screen Shot 2016-07-28 at 3.48.51 PM

Aw. Well, that’s nice.

Ahem.

Your move, All the Other Fucking Papers that Did the Same Fucking Thing.

The Not Ready For FaceTime Players

Now that a few days have passed and I’m sure there’s no more to this story…

The other day I looked at my phone and saw a missed FaceTime call from That Guy. I don’t use FaceTime, and he and I had never used it, so it was clearly just a misdial.

I’d always assumed it was customary to delete a woman’s number once she’d served her purpose, though I’d wager he’s deleted it now. I had deleted him as a contact a while back, oddly so I’d never call or text HIM accidentally, but I recognized the number.

And thank GOD I didn’t call him. Accident or no, and with apologies for my sexist generalization, a woman who did that would look like a goddamn psycho.

Putting the “men” in “entitlement.”

A 27-year-old on OkCupid sent me an intro message the other night, and I wasn’t interested, so I deleted it without responding.

This morning he sent a followup message: “You’re too pretty to give up on. I’m very persistent!”

Sweetie? This brand of “persistence” does not end with you getting the girl. Please don’t make me get all J. Lo in Enough — no one needs to see my midriff, I’m too lazy to learn boxing, and I would look absurd with that haircut. So maybe just quit being a dick.

I’ve also noticed many profiles that say things like, “If I send you a message, it’s rude to just ignore it and leave me wondering. The least you can do is write back to say you’re not interested.” Um, no, actually. The LEAST I can do is ignore you. It’s one click to delete a message. Writing you back adds the effort of keystrokes, so… that’s more I’d have to do, not least. See how words work?

And boo hoo, a stranger finds me “rude?” Not polite and acquiescent like a proper lady should be? I’m sad. No, really. This is my sad face.

If a guy doesn’t respond to my message within a day or two, I don’t wonder — he’s not interested.

Via Body For Wife: She Doesn’t Owe You Shitowe

Pole-itical pandering.

WOW. Can you just…stop saying things?

Sometimes I shut my goddamn mouth specifically to avoid saying something stupid. You know, like THAT.

Via Huffington Post: John Kasich Is Seemingly Baffled By Young Women Who Get Politics 

Like… HOW? HOW? HOW are you at a mic in front of a crowd, thinking, “Oh. OH! This’ll be great, I’ll say THIS!” And then he trots offstage all, “You guys! Did you see? NAILED IT!”
They DO let women vote now, Governor. I know, right? I was shocked, too! But I watched “Suffragette” the other day and apparently it’s a thing! Obviously I’m not 100% sure because there’s so little room in my brain for facts next to Taylor Swift and rainbows, but..Votes from the Vaginal WOULD add to your bottom line, no? (And I do mean “bottom,” because you’re totally fucked here.)

Any politician worth electing would at LEAST give us pretty little ladies the ILLUSION that he gave a shit. Bernie Sanders has effectively assembled a goddamn army of ride-or-dies, with a shit-ton of Millennials ready to do his bidding, at least until their Adderall wears off. And Donald Drumpf has found his niche of angry middle-class (read: po’) white folk ready to make America great again. Whatever disagreements I have with them, those guys know how to work that pole.

Jesus Christ, Kasich — who the fuck taught you how to pander?

Decidedly not pretty fly for white guys

I’m really not informed enough to comment on any racism or sexism that did or did not lead to this decision.

But the racism and sexism I saw while reading about it online were goddamn vile and disgusting. 

Via CNN: Melissa Harris-Perry ‘highly unlikely’ to return to MSNBC 

I didn’t always agree with her, but I liked that show because it was a different perspective from all the white dudes they’re focusing on. Plus, having seen the rest of their programming, there’s really quite enough “breaking election news” without ditching your weekend morning hosts to make it a complete, 24-hour circle jerk. What, you need to pre-empt your Sunday shows to report that Donald Trump pooped and what that might mean for his Super Tuesday numbers?

Floral Sex

A horrible ad has been popping up on my Pandora Radio lately, telling me, “This Valentine’s Day, give your man a not-so-subtle hint: Tell him to order flowers from Such-and-Such Place.”

Tell…TELL HIM?!

Wow, what a spontaneous and romantic gesture that’ll be for me. Should I go select the exact bouquet I want and just send him a link, or does he at least get THAT much credit? Because OMG, men are SO clueless, amirite, ladies?!

I once had an ex tell me I “hint with a hammer,” because I usually just say what I want, but I’ve never pulled THAT shit.

Jesus Christ, if Valentine’s Day is that important to you, your Person should know to get your fucking flowers.

I like Valentine’s Day. When in a relationship, I personally like to spend it at home with a movie, pizza, and nudity, because I’ve generally felt loved every day in my relationships and don’t feel the need to make it such a Thing. (I am also cheap and lazy.) But still, I like love and celebrations thereof. I like flowers and hearts and pink crap and on-sale candy the next day.

But I hate the implication that all women are whoreticulturists and all men are inept.

…It’s possible I have too many feelings about this.

“Boys will be assholes”

Taken from the A Mighty Girl Facebook page 

I always thought “boys will be boys” referred to more innocuous stuff like, I don’t know, leaving socks on the floor or citing sports stats.

When used to laugh off harassment, it shifts to the “don’t be a dick” philosophy. I’m not trying to take away your manhood, I swear. I WANT you to be all grunty and take me. Just…you know, try to be cool about it. You’re not getting to “grunty” without basic decency (my entire 2013 notwithstanding).

Animal urges aside, we’re humans, not apes. We deserve and should expect better. Not just women, but HUMANS — don’t be an asshole.

Melissa McCarthy Tells Ellen DeGeneres: “We Tear Down Women in This Country”

I wish almost every Melissa McCarthy movie didn’t look awful, because I do want to support her as a human.

Sookie St. James for life, though!

(And also, hey, maybe don’t be a dick?)

Via The Mary Sue: Melissa McCarthy Tells Ellen DeGeneres “We Tear Down Women in This Country” in Response to Sexist Criticism