This is madness, but…dicks…

OkCupid disabled the feature where you can see who’s viewed your profile.

At first I was pissed, because hey, dude looks at me, I go look at dude (or vice versa), maybe we start a conversation.

But now I have to just, like… TALK to them if I want them to see me?! Fuck that, that’s madness.

HOWEVER. For the dudes who have photos of their fine-ass half-dressed bodies as profile pics, now I can check out their junk and not have to worry about them messaging me all, “Hey, I noticed you checked out my junk.”

So… There’s that. Junk ahoy, y’all!

In which Target helps me plan my next seduction…

It’s possible this is just because I’m a new woman he’s trying to flatter, BUT… New Dude has complimented my lingerie every time my clothes have come off. So at the very least, he appreciates the effort. But I realized I have limited quantities of sex-worthy underwear — a fifth date hasn’t been an issue in years. Time to call in reinforcements!

“Benjamin is no one’s friend.”

First message on OkCupid:
 
“You are extremely sexy not
Just saying that 🌹❤️you seem very sweet also. I’m Dave can we chat ?:)”
 
Formatting is important, Dave. That hard return puts a li’l Wayne’s World on your game: “You are extremely sexy. NOT. Just saying that.”
 
#PralinesAndDick