OkCupid disabled the feature where you can see who’s viewed your profile.
At first I was pissed, because hey, dude looks at me, I go look at dude (or vice versa), maybe we start a conversation.
But now I have to just, like… TALK to them if I want them to see me?! Fuck that, that’s madness.
HOWEVER. For the dudes who have photos of their fine-ass half-dressed bodies as profile pics, now I can check out their junk and not have to worry about them messaging me all, “Hey, I noticed you checked out my junk.”
So… There’s that. Junk ahoy, y’all!
I just dropped flaky bits of cinnamon bun into my cleavage, in case you were wondering if I could BE any sexier.
It’s possible this is just because I’m a new woman he’s trying to flatter, BUT… New Dude has complimented my lingerie every time my clothes have come off. So at the very least, he appreciates the effort. But I realized I have limited quantities of sex-worthy underwear — a fifth date hasn’t been an issue in years. Time to call in reinforcements!
Hey, would you guys mind if I objectified a man for like one second?
Didn’t think so.
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother with Instagram.
And then other times…
(@smug_singleton, if you wondered. [You didn’t.])