Yesterday I wore skinny pants, except I’m NOT skinny, and then I had Chinese food, and then I got puffy, aaand now I have this…fat-rash above my belly button where my tummy was trying to escape my belt.
Honestly, I don’t even know how y’all deal with how sexy I am.
The good news is, my new neighbor is either a hot, young-ish guy, or has hot, young-ish guy visitors at 10 pm on Saturday nights.
The bad news is, I learned this by passing said hot, young-ish guy at the common door, as he was walking in and I was walking out to meet the grocery delivery guy…and I was wearing mismatched pajamas and slippers, with hair I THINK was last washed on Thursday?
OkCupid disabled the feature where you can see who’s viewed your profile.
At first I was pissed, because hey, dude looks at me, I go look at dude (or vice versa), maybe we start a conversation.
But now I have to just, like… TALK to them if I want them to see me?! Fuck that, that’s madness.
HOWEVER. For the dudes who have photos of their fine-ass half-dressed bodies as profile pics, now I can check out their junk and not have to worry about them messaging me all, “Hey, I noticed you checked out my junk.”
It’s possible this is just because I’m a new woman he’s trying to flatter, BUT… New Dude has complimented my lingerie every time my clothes have come off. So at the very least, he appreciates the effort. But I realized I have limited quantities of sex-worthy underwear — a fifth date hasn’t been an issue in years. Time to call in reinforcements!