I just learned it’s National Day on Writing, so writers are writing about #WhyIWrite.
So.
1. It keeps me from masturbating constantly in an asylum somewhere. (Also, I’ve never looked into it, but the really good asylums are probably expensive.)
2. I am a filthy attention whore and every “like” is like being tenderly and lovingly fingered by Jesus.
3. I have almost no other skills.
4. You weirdos seem to enjoy it.
5. I don’t know how NOT to write.
Year of saying “yes” + learning new skills = 
On LinkedIn, how many skills can a colleague — with whom you’ve never actually worked — endorse you for before it’s safe to infer a subtextual endorsement of presumed sexual proficiency?
What, like…nine?
Like, “She’s amazing at web content… and would probably also give enthusiastic blowjobs.”
On a related note, online dating sites should have skills endorsements. For sexual stuff is the obvious joke, but even just personality things your friends could do: “John endorses Jane for ‘good taste in movies/sharing her fries at dinner/bringing good beer to parties.'”
Smug Singleton 