“Check, baby, check, baby, 1, 2, 3, 4…”

Sorry, no, you can’t fuck me once you’ve used the word “thingy.” It’s in the Smug bylaws — paragraph 6, subsection B, clause 3. Right after “Your Smug will stop everything and dance when she hears ‘Rump Shaker.'”

Sorry, my hands are tied. (Ahem. This is also in the bylaws.)

Go home, 2013, no one likes you.

Happy New Year’s Eve, all. Be safe in your festivities. Cheers to you, for you are awesome. I love y’all. (Well, except YOU, because you’d make it weird.)

And hey, 2013? Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out. Onward!

Merry Christmas from your friendly neighborhood Singleton!

“Oh, my God, she made me a present. I AM an asshole!”
— Robbie Hart, The Wedding Singer

Happy December 25, y’all. Don’t be an asshole. Tell the people you love that you love them. Be safe and enjoy, no matter what you’re doing.

Love and naughty Santa outfits from Smug HQ. 💕

Holiday greetings from Smug HQ!

Today, I’m thankful for you guys. And multiple orgasms. And pie. But mostly for you guys. (Ahem. And pie.)

Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Hanukkah. Hell, Happy November 28. Have fun and be safe.