It’s called a blowJOB for a reason.

I want y’all to know that, in my drafts folder, there are four different variations on a blowjob joke. I’m debating which one I like best before I post it.

Because THAT is the kind of quality craftsmanship you can expect from Smug Singleton. (In jokes and in actual blowjobs. Hey-o!)

Accepting my fate as a sexless wonder.

Finally, officially put the “single” back in “Smug Singleton.”

Praise be to the universe for forcing me to finally do the right thing, and to my friend/spiritual adviser for yelling at me to gather my ladyballs and stop being an asshole. I’d rather know than wonder; he’s entitled to the same.