I just dropped flaky bits of cinnamon bun into my cleavage, in case you were wondering if I could BE any sexier.
I’ve been so run down that I was a little worried about my blood donation appointment today. I know I CAN donate, but I was concerned about feeling even more depleted. So I Googled it, and dammit, Australian Red Cross — I can’t decide if I’m comforted or insulted by your assurance.
“Oh, because I’m a woman overrun with hormones, I must want snacks and a couch? How dare you stereotype me?!”
“You DO want snacks and a couch.”
Co-signed, for tonight I shall bathe in movie theater popcorn, telling both my diet and my budget to go fuck themselves.
Via The Oatmeal:
Oh, look — there are my feelings.
Thanks, office vending machine!
Earlier today, my married-couple friends welcomed their beautiful new baby into the world.
However, today, I:
1. Looked in my purse for something else and found a brownie I forgot I’d bought yesterday.
2. Worked Cyrano de Bergerac into a blog post about OkCupid and oral sex.
3. Did such a good job masturbating while thinking about Scott Foley that now I’m gloriously exhausted and am just going to stay in bed.
So, I mean, really, who had a bigger day?
Ah, the annual conundrum of the office Cinco de Mayo party: not loving the racism, but REALLY loving the nachos. #ConscientiousGuacamole
Perhaps my new favorite sentence ever: “I have an ice cream & waffle date tonight.”