Damn, Graham!

DAMN, girl!

I might actually have to buy Sports Illustrated and support my people.

#preach

 

 

Worst. Jubilee. Ever.

So, we all know I’m going to hell, but I read today that the Pope says it’s OK for priests to absolve women of the sin of abortion, but only during Jubilee.

I don’t know what Jubilee is, and I kind of don’t even want to learn, because…Abortion Jubilee? Are you serious? That’s amazing. That could be my band.

I looked up Jubilee and it actually sounds quite lovely. So go forth and abort, ladies. Don’t forget to get your cards punched — remember, pay for 5, get the 6th free, AND you get the t-shirt.*

* I was gonna say “you get the fetus phone, but a) That’s pretty fucked up, and b) The “Sports Illustrated” football phone analogy is a tad dated. (Ahem. Get off my lawn!)

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue: How Is This Still a Thing?

I’ll just leave this here.

Via Last Week Tonight:

How the “Sports Illustrated” swimsuit issue made me move to England.

Via ET Online: Plus-Sized Model Ashley Graham Rocks Tiny Bikini in ‘Sports Illustrated’ Swimsuit Ad
Choose your own snark:

1. If you need me, I’ll be slamming my head into a wall.

2. I don’t even really have time to comment on this. I’m too busy packing and booking a flight, because if she’s “plus-sized,” I’m clearly the queen of England, and my people are probably wondering where I’ve been.

Not snark: “‘I know my curves are sexy and I want everyone else to know that theirs are too. There is no reason to hide and every reason to flaunt,'” Graham says in a statement.”

Goddamn right, girl. Go on with your bad self.